Ask for the Help You Need!

You are NOT in this alone, even if you think you are

“You can do anything, but not everything.” — David Allen

Last year, I facilitated an online course whose purpose it was to help people transform their inspired ideas, dreams, and ventures into reality. It was ton of fun and very fulfilling — my “calling”, if you will (and even if you won’t).

Baked into the learning process were simple ways to help participants become aware of the places inside themselves where they were tangled or challenged in their approach.

One tangle that surprised me was just how difficult it is for most people to ask for help.

While it is true that the creative process requires a healthy dose of solitude, it also requires a healthy dose of interaction with others and, occasionally, the well-timed support of others.

Indeed, there are times when even the most self-sufficient and confident among us needs a push, pull, jiggle, jolt, feedback, encouragement, or hug.

Even though most people intellectually acknowledge this need, when push comes to shove (as it often does), most of us tend to default to the “I’m-in-this-all-alone” mode.

“It is the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.” — Charles Darwin

I’ve been pondering this phenomenon for the past few months, trying my best to understand it. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

The Ten Most Common Reasons Why Most People Don’t Ask for Help:

1. We assume that the people we want to ask are too busy.

2. We’re unclear about the specific kind of help we need.

3. We don’t know who to ask for help.

4. We anticipate discomfort if our request for help is rejected.

5. We don’t believe we deserve anyone’s help.

6. We think that asking for help is a sign of weakness.