Member-only story

I Am Not a Handyman

All hail the unexpected liberation of a lifelong tool moron!

Mitch Ditkoff
5 min readDec 16, 2022
Photo by Theme Photos on Unsplash

I am not a handyman. Not even close. And while, indeed, I am a man — indeed, considered by many to be a good man — I am not even remotely close to being a handyman.

Yes, I know the difference between a Phillips head screwdriver and a flat head screwdriver. And yes, I have wielded a hammer from time to time without breaking my thumb, but constructing a “bathroom shelving system” has never been my forte — especially a do-it-yourself aluminum bathroom shelving system bought, on sale, in a Mexican hardware store.

It looked so easy when I bought it. And it probably was. But when I opened the box and noticed that the 16-page instruction booklet was, solamente, in Spanish, I knew I was in trouble.

Removing the parts from the box, I laid them out on the dining room table and started counting. Excelente! Fantastico! Mucho coolio! Everything was there just as promised! Nothing was missing! And though I must admit I felt like taking a break to celebrate the fact that I had: 1) Successfully opened the box; 2) Placed all of the parts on the dining room table; 3) Counted the parts and; 4) Confirmed the fact that all of the parts that were supposed to be there actually were, I decided to press on.

--

--

Mitch Ditkoff
Mitch Ditkoff

Written by Mitch Ditkoff

Co-Founder of Idea Champions. Author of 7 books. Student of Prem Rawat. Human being. Giving my new book away for free. Available at www.TheGiftofPoetry.com

No responses yet