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I Am Not a Handyman
All hail the unexpected liberation of a lifelong tool moron!
I am not a handyman. Not even close. And while, indeed, I am a man — indeed, considered by many to be a good man — I am not even remotely close to being a handyman.
Yes, I know the difference between a Phillips head screwdriver and a flat head screwdriver. And yes, I have wielded a hammer from time to time without breaking my thumb, but constructing a “bathroom shelving system” has never been my forte — especially a do-it-yourself aluminum bathroom shelving system bought, on sale, in a Mexican hardware store.
It looked so easy when I bought it. And it probably was. But when I opened the box and noticed that the 16-page instruction booklet was, solamente, in Spanish, I knew I was in trouble.
Removing the parts from the box, I laid them out on the dining room table and started counting. Excelente! Fantastico! Mucho coolio! Everything was there just as promised! Nothing was missing! And though I must admit I felt like taking a break to celebrate the fact that I had: 1) Successfully opened the box; 2) Placed all of the parts on the dining room table; 3) Counted the parts and; 4) Confirmed the fact that all of the parts that were supposed to be there actually were, I decided to press on.