One of the Biggest Obstacles to Good Communication

HINT: It has a lot do with the assumption “I already know that”

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” — Ernest Hemingway

One of the biggest obstacles to good communication between two people can be summarized in four words: “I already know that.”

This all-too-common phrase heads its ugly rear when the listener, having heard as little as a single sentence from the speaker, assumes they already understand what the speaker is going to say.

It is this snap judgment, often made unconsciously, that subverts even the faintest hope of communication. But even more than that, it subverts trust, intimacy, connection, and the possibility of meaningful collaboration.

And while it’s possible that the listener does know what the speaker is about to say — especially if the two of them have a longstanding relationship — all too often the listener does not, at least at the depth of what the speaker wants to express.

In other words, conversational beginnings don’t always foreshadow the depth or direction of what’s to follow.

Whenever the listener in a conversation, responds with “I already know that”, it is highly likely that the speaker will feel…