The Real Marriage

Eventually we all have to realize that our “other half” is us

Mitch Ditkoff

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Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I know some people who have never been married and I know some people who have been married twice. I’m in the second category along with millions of other people around the world.

In my home-country (the USA), 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce and 41 percent of first marriages end that way, as well. Whoa Nellie!

That’s a lot of broken vows, especially the “until death do us part” one.

So be it. Such is life. Everything ends. Even marriages that extend until the very last day end, leaving husband or wife alone and sorting through all kinds of feelings that come with the beginning of the unknown.

I think it’s fair to say that eventually each and everyone of us needs to realize the age-old truth that, no matter what happens in our lives, we are whole unto ourselves. The “other half” we’ve been looking for (or have actually bonded with) is none other than our own self.

We are both yin and yang, both sides of the duality coin.

The soul mate we sought and maybe even found has played their part perfectly. They loved us (as best they could), listened, comforted, and embraced — the anima to our animus or the animus to our anima — our buried, only partially acknowledged self.

Which leads me to the following poem which I wrote during a particularly difficult time two years ago when my second marriage was melting down and I needed to more-fully-than-ever embrace who I was and am — a deeply feeling human being who needed to marry himself, no announcements needed, no flowers, and no band.

The Real Marriage

Today, my own best man, alone in my room,
I am going to marry myself,
love who I am until death do me part,
embracing what exists at the core of my being,
knowing, as I do, that my soul mate lives inside me,
closer than my own breath,
muse of my muse and has always been with me,
even when I was not, whole until itself,
radiant, free, snuggling, in its wrinkled pajamas,
with infinity.

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Mitch Ditkoff

Co-Founder of Idea Champions, Face The Music & Sage Catalysts. Author of Storytelling for the Revolution, Storytelling at Work, Unspoken Word and Free the Genie